Who Knew!

It has been a long long time since I have written about anything. Of course, I have many reasons for that but there is not much of a point in writing about that. There are better issues to cover, I believe.

I have always know it is not simple to start college. I have always known it is not easy to pick a major. I have always known it is not easy to find that dream career. But, despite knowing all of these there is something people never informed me about. The College Application.

Seriously! Applying for college is taking me forever. All I thought, and hoped, was that I fill in the blanks and send in a transcript and there. Now the college picks if they want you or not.

No! It is much more complicated than that. After filling up the application which has several parts, college essays are required. One problem is that each college has a different essay topic and different style they want to write with. Keeping all that in mind you write the essays. Next they want you to get letters of recommendation from your professors. Some even require a letter from your councilor. Then you need to get your transcript. But to get that you need go to the school office and request it and then wait a couple of days, to go back and pick them up. Then you decide to apply for financial aid and scholarship. Just for those even more documentations are required.

You basically have to do all of this for every college you apply for.

I guess the application process itself prepares you for college where you have to run around constantly. I pray that everyone who is applying for college for the first time adapt to the new environment they are entering and also achieve their goals.

Challenge of Immigrant Parents

Both my parents are immigrants from Bangladesh, and like many other families they came here before I was born. So basically we are a family of two Bengali parents and two American children (though of course my parents think of me as a Bengali, not an American). Now the usual cultural differences and blah blah blah exist. However, this is the stuff people even non-immigrants already know. Also, most children, mainly teens, who are in my situation are always complaining about these usual cultural problems.
Seriously, people do not really notice how much we get away with because we are children of immigrants.
And that is what I think is the real challenge, not misusing these advantages over our parents.
Now of course, some people have parents who are a lot smarter, but many are like mine who don't understand technology very well.

Examples of get aways:
1. Internet history- My parents do not know how to check that either do they know it exist. I know a lot of people who have to continuously delete their history in fear their parents will look at them.
2. Emails- My parents never check my emails.
3. Books- My parents can read English but not enough to understand what is written in books like Harry Potter and Twilight so I never fall in the banned book solution.
4. Talking- My parents are always complaining that I speak English way too fast for them to understand what I'm saying. So of course me and my cousins usually can say all sort of things that they do not have a clue about.
5. Cell phones- My mom cannot use a cell phone and she never picks hers up. So she never checks my call history or my text.

Now the list can be longer. So I can take advantage of these moments but I do not, intentionally at least. Firstly, I do not find a need to go against my parents by doing something that if they were aware of they would feel extremely hurt. Also, trust me greatly, or else they would not have sent me to Texas to live with my aunt to finish college. I would seriously hate myself if I ended up breaking that trust even if it was by accident or something.

Of course my parents, especially my mom, always find loop holes in everything.
When I am chatting with friends my mom will just sit behind me and watch. However, this does not bother me. Every 5 minutes she asks me what I'm talking about with my friends. This is actually not irritating either. No, what is irritating is explaining things that are not possible to translate into Bengali. The hardest thing to ever explain was sarcasm.

Me: Well it's like..........let say I was waiting for you to come here at 7 pm but you come at 8pm. Okay.
Mom: Okay.
Me: So after you come in I say, "Oh my God! You are so early!" See that is sarcasm.
Mom: I do not get it. Why are you going to say i am early when I am obviously very late.

I love my parents exactly the way they are. It makes my life so much more interesting. So anyone who feels their parents too culturally different just remember the positive side.

Interaction Activity

Today I went to a leadership and team building workshop and over there I got the opportunity to do something that I found extremely interesting.

First we were divided into groups of 2- one is the instructor, and the other is the drawer.

We had to sit with our backs to one another, so we couldn't see each others face but we could hear one another.

Now the drawer was given a piece of paper and a pen. The instructor was given a card with a simple diagram drawn on it.

Now this is what we had to do:

The instructor had to describe the picture to the drawer but the drawer could not say a word; they could only draw. So if they did not understand the instructions given to them by the instructor they could not ask the instructor to repeat or ask questions or anything.

So now the outcome.

I ended up being an instructor. When I saw the diagram I thought, "Oh this will be easy."

It wasn't.

I kept wanting to ask my partner if they understood what I was saying. I didn't even know if she could hear me. But I had no way to clarify.

Finally once everyone finished the coordinator asked all the drawers how they felt for not being able to talk to their instructors.

Basically they all said that they felt confused. The problem was interpretation. All of us interpret things differently and so when I said draw a line in the middle of the rectangle she did not know if she should draw it along the length or the width.

What we learned from this exercise is that when communicating with others we need to try to be as clear as possible but at the same time let them or encourage them to ask questions and explain what they understood.

Again we repeated the activity but the only difference this time was that the drawer could interact and talk. This time all the teams except 2 got their pictures to look the same.

I just thought it was amazing exercise that explained the importance of communicating both ways. We see in many places people always complaining that their children don't understand them or the children say that their parents don't understand them. Well the reason for this is that either the parent keeps placing orders upon their child but the child cannot give feedback about what they feel and vise versa. We need to learn to give ideas but at the same time be ready to expect and accept other interpretations.

Childhood Movie Flash Back

Well just like any other normal day I was giving the task to clean. Somehow, or the other I always end up with the chore of cleaning at my house. And today it was the cabinet beneath the television.

My 2 year old nephew got access to it and took out video tapes that was in it and spread across the living room. The energy in toddlers always astonish me.

So while picking up all those old video tapes I came across the video tape "The Lion King".

Wow! Just seeing the tape after so long brought back so many memories. I was only 5 when it first came out. Suddenly I really badly wanted watch it.

Once I finished cleaning I put the tape into the VCR. It felt so weird. I hadn't watch something using the VCR in such a long time.

Oh my God! When I finished the movie I was like woah. That movie was awesome. When I was 5 all I saw in the movie was a lot of colorful moving pictures. I never notice the story of the movie.

You could feel the strength of the relationship between Simba and his father. I already knew what will happen in the movie yet I find myself screaming to the TV (not aloud though, in my head :P ) "No Simba! Don't listen to Scar!"

I actually wanted to cry when Simba's Dad died.

The movie was simply amazing and was so much more enjoyable now that I understood the story. And the movie showed extremely well the concept of corruption. It was a great experience watching "The Lion King" again. Going back to being a child again is so much fun.

It's so ironic how I couldn't wait till I grow up when I was 5 and now when I remember those days and see my nephew I just want to be a child again.

USA vs. Bangladesh

I think of myself to be very fortunate because I got the chance to live life in completely different settings. My cousin once told me, "You haven't seen the world until you have lived in a third world country." I realize now how true he was.

The USA and Bangladesh are so different from one another that I cannot really compare them. People always ask if I had a choice where would I prefer to live.
My Answer: Neither of the two!
Why? Both places have things I like about them and also things I hate, so in the end they sort of balance out.

Now time for the fun part. I thought I would share my experience in both places but in a different way other then writing a long boring paragraph for each.

At the Dinner Table:
USA- Me, My Mom, My Dad, My sister
Bangladesh- Me, My Mom, My Dad, My Grandma, My Grandpa, Raton Mama (Uncle 1), Boro Mami (Aunt 1), Shohan (Cousin 1), Atiq Mama (Uncle 2), Choto Mami (Aunt 2), Tasin (Cousin 2), Shilma (Cousin 3), Samira (Cousin 4), Shahidul Mama (Uncle 3), Poppy Mami (Aunt 3), Sneeha (Cousin 5), Abu Bakr (Cousin 6), Sabur Mama (Uncle 4), Beauty Mami (Aunt 4), Wakia (Cousin 7), Osman (Cousin 8).............we always had visitors to add to the list............. :P
*the house had a lot of rooms so except during the holy month of Ramadan we usually just grouped up and go to "one" of the dining room*

Missing School (Government Approved):

USA- Mom: "Oh you can go back to sleep because your school has been closed because of the weather. But you most probably will have school tomorrow."

Bangladesh- Mom: "Schools have been closed throughout the country because riots and strikes broke out."

Me: "So when will schools reopen?"

Mom: "Don't know yet."

*Schools opened a month later*

Missing School (Excuses):

USA- Me: "Mom, I'm feeling sick. I don't think I can go to school."

Mom: "Let me see. No, doesn't seem like you have a fever. I think you'll make it. If anything happens go to the nurses office."

Bangladesh- Me: "Mom, I'm really tired. Do I have to go to school today?"

Mom: "Well are you guys doing anything important? Will you miss anything?"

Me: "No, I won't miss anything and we don't have any test coming up. I'll just call up my friends later on today to see what happened. But I'm sure they aren't gonna do anything."

Mom: "Okay."

Chores:

USA- Mom: "Once you finish eating wash the dishes, then take out the trash and then after that vacuum the living room."

Bangladesh- Mom: "After your done eating take your plate to the kitchen so the maids can wash them."

Heat:

USA- Me: "Mom, it's so hot today."

Mom: "Okay, I'll turn on the AC."

Bangladesh- Me: "Mom, it's so hot."

Mom: "Sit under the fan."

Technology:

USA- Friend: "Have you seen that movie? It's awesome."

Me: "Really! I'll go home and watch it on the internet."

Bangladesh- Friend: "Have you seen that video on Youtube? It's hilarious."

Me: "No. How long is it?"

Friend: "Like 5 minutes."

Me: "Oh prefect. Then it'll only take 10 minutes for it to buffer till I can watch it."

Friend: "Seriously! It takes me 30 minutes to watch 5 minutes videos. Your internet is so fast!"

A BAD Day:

USA- Mom: "How was your school day?"

Me: "Horrible! Since I was 2 minutes late to class the teacher took 5 points off my paper and then later on we had a pop quiz in my physics class which no one was prepared for."

Bangladesh- Mom: "How was your school day?"

Me: "Horrible! It's burning hot outside and yet the school can't provide us with central AC. And then the electricity went out for the whole day so we didn't have the fan air either. On top of all this the teacher made me stand throughout the class period because I did not know the answer to the question. Finally to make everything worst, the admins came in and began to yell at all of us for no reason. They then picked out some of the students and made them stand outside just cause their uniforms were not ironed!"

Food:

USA- Me: "Mom, I'm hungry!"

Mom: "Well there is all those left overs from yesterday and there are chips and other snacks in the pantry. If you want I can also order pizza right now."

Bangladesh: Me: "Mom, I'm hungry!"

Mom: "Have a mango from the basket."

Summer Vacation:

USA- *Sits at home and does nothing.* One week before school opens: Mom: "Why don't we all go somewhere before the summer ends."

Bangladesh- *Sleeps at home and does nothing.* One week before school opens: Mom: "Well let's go to the tailor and pick up your uniform. Finally, the summer is over. You better be first girl, or if not possible the top three, this year."

Perspective of Me in Each Country:

USA- Random Person: "So where are you from?"

Me: "Well I came from New York......."

Random Person: "No, no, I meant what is your nationality?"

Me: "Oh I'm Bengali"

Random Person: "Your what?"

Me: "You know that small country Bangladesh."

Random Person: *looks confused* "Huh?"

Me: "I'm Indian, from India."

Random Person: "Oh India. Yeah, I know where that is."

Bangladesh- Random Person: *Really fast bangla that I have no idea what they are saying*

Me: "Ummmm........."

Random Person (says sarcastically with slower easier bangla): "Don't you understand bangla?"

Me: "Well sort of, kinda, not really."

Random Person: "Aren't you bengali?"

Me: "I am but I wasn't raised here. I was raised in America."

Random Person: "Oh, your Am-ri-ka."

*Funny how no matter which country I am in I'm considered a foreigner.*

There are so much more that can be said between the two. But you cant get really understand what both places are truly like till you have lived there for about 2 years at least.

:D

Behind the Veil

Being a Muslim girl there is one thing that I am always questioned about, my head scarf.

Firstly I want to confirm to many of those who come up with exotic ideas,
NO I don't of green hair or any other unnatural hair color, and
NO I am not bald, I do have hair.

Anyways, the head scarf or hijab (many call it) is a part of the many aspects of my religion of Islam. Allah(SWT) has said in the Quran(our holy book) for both believing men and women to lower our gaze and dress modestly.

One common misconception many people have is that this idea of covering is only for the girls, but actually it is for both men and women. The amount of our bodies that we are required to cover differ though. Boys need to cover themselves up to their knees, and not required to completely cover their arms. Us, girls, however have to cover ourselves from head to toe except for the hands and face.
There are some girls who choose to cover the faces but that is not mandatory.

Now, I'm not a scholar in my religion and so I do not want to say anything that is incorrect by going into details about the reasons behind the veil. The most I can do, though, is share my experience.

I always wore full sleeve, and loose clothing so handling that was not much of a problem. Beginning to cover my hair and neck was a lot more difficult. The main reason I was afraid to start was peer pressure. I went to a public school where only two other girls wore the scarf and that's it. I was very hesitant. However, one I woke up and realized that I needed to start because it is Allah who I want to please, not people.Allah had guided me and I began.

I was in 6th grade at the time and actually started at the age younger than any of my relatives. When I went to school the first day no heads turned, no one pointed, no one made any sort of rude comments. It was just like any ordinary school day. A couple of my close friends did ask why I was wearing the head scarf. I did not have to go into details about it. All I said was it is a part of my religious beliefs and they respected that.

I felt great. Never again did I have to worry about how my hair looked in the mornings. During winters, I was a lot more comfortable. And, even in the summers. People think that I be burning in the heat because of my full sleeve clothing and head wear. But actually it is the exact opposite. The sun's rays do not directly hit my skin, so I do not suffer from sun burns.

It is an amazing feeling. Whenever I go out my clothes feel like a protective wall from disrespectful glares of strangers.

The problem is that I had a hard time accepting the guidance sent down by Allah as some of them do not seem to match with the ideology of the society today. But once I implement them in my life I realize the true wisdom behind them and life actually becomes so much more simpler.
I thank Allah for making these trials in life I face a whole lot easier to handle.

May Allah protect us and help us live by His guidance.

Name Game

Ever noticed how hard it is to find a name for title. Well, maybe not for everyone, but it really bothers me.
Once, when I was in eight grade I wrote a short story. My teacher liked it a lot so he told me to give it a title and then he was gonna to post it in some newspaper or magazine. It took me more then a week to just think of the title. Finding the title was a lot harder than writing the story.
Nothing ever seems right. Either it is too corny, or too cliche, or not meaningful enough.
And yet again I went through the same problem when naming this blog. I seriously went blank.
Finally I came up with 'My Speck'.
I always thought of myself, with my opinions and thoughts, to be a speck flying around in the midst of many more specks. I am sometimes fascinated by the thought of the size of the infinite universe and and how small I am compared to it. Thus, after about much thought I feel this is the prefect title (that is, if i come up with something better later on).